Cracks in the Sidewalk

 It's like when the side walk cracks, I always wonder what caused each crack. A move in the tectonic plates? An angry person with a hammer? A really heavy backpack during finals week? Whatever it was, God makes it beautiful, because you know what happens when there is a crack in the sidewalk? Somehow, after a while, a plant begins to grow through, and then another, and another, until the crack in the sidewalk is full of little plants sprouting up. Even if they are weeds, they still more beautiful then the grey, dull sidewalk, and this gives me hope, because I'm broken like the sidewalk. I'm waiting for the weeds, the plants, and maybe even the flowers to grow through my crack, but what do you do when you don't get better? I haven't been getting better for a year. I'm constantly nauseas, I have dizzy headaches, I'm so weak and I've lost 12 pounds. I feel sick, my kidneys, my liver, my thyroid, my heart, my digestive system, my lymphatic system... they aren't happy. I'm uncomfortable and there are 7 supplements to be taken multiple times a day. My diet has been restricted and completely restructured, but there is so much beauty in the struggle. The revelations of his love, when fear comes knocking. The knowledge of his tangible healing. His hand that holds mine firmly, and lovingly. Jesus, thank you for your strength in my weakness. Thank you for this thorn, it keeps me from being prideful. Thank you for your constant healing rain, that washes over me. My heart is thankful, for Lord, it is a worthy place to endure my tiny troubles for. God so loves Africa. Every immunization that had to be taken, every time I'm not feeling well, every result, supplement, and food that I have given up. It's all worth it to yet again hold the small dark hand of His sweet son Pasko, His joyful village children, and His eager orphans. My heart anticipates the goodness in the adventure ahead and my temporary physical struggle is so minor in the grand plan of Gods unending grace for me. Thank you Lord, your love overwhelms me.

Love,
Your Admiring Daughter