In my weakness, He is strong.

I knew before the trip that I was facing some health issues, and that it may be difficult for me to have enough energy for each day, but I was so excited to see how God would work through my struggles that he encouraged me to take that chance. I never understood how difficult it would really be, and the first few weeks I was able to push through the weakness I was facing, but it started to get harder and harder to hide my struggle as the trip progressed. Although, I began to fall deeper and deeper in love with Gods children and the beauty that was coming from my brokenness, my heart still feared that I was not enough. If you have ever done career missions, or been on a missions trip you know that you develop such a wide few of the array of needs there are, and the lack of time we have on earth to reach Gods people. I am so aware of the needs in Zambia, and the people who are longing for Jesus that I know if I were to dedicate my entire life to encouraging and repairing Zambia I would hardly skim the surface. Its at that place that I remember, its not me doing Jesus’ work, but its Jesus doing his work through me. At this time in my life the Lord has chose to work through me in complete weakness, in illness, and in exhaustion. I have never felt more incapable to pick up a child, to play games, or be useful in any way, yet I feel so satisfied and God has worked and weaved his plan into every moment I have spent on African soil.

“When I came to you, brother, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with demonstration of the Spirits power.” ( 1 Corinthians 2:1-4) 

Im my weakness, in my fear, in my trembling the Spirit is at work. Every childs smile has blessed my heart and welcomed me into the prescence of Jesus. My faith and my worship has exploded, and I am reminded of the mighty power of the one true King. As I, along with so many other prayer warriors cry out to God in anticipation of the restoration of my health, I hear his voice remind me that he is perfect in all his ways, and that he is using me right where I am. I am a new creation in him, and I praise him for his ability to work in weakness. 

Dear Jesus, 

Thank you for your complete peace that washes over me. Remind me that you are my only source of strength, and that as I trust in you, you work miracles everyday in the life of your people. Lord, if its your will please heal every bone that aches, every pain, and restore in me energy to live my life for you. Lord, if it is not your will to currently heal me, but to use me in my weakness, I trust you to work in amazing ways. Thank you for the people who lift me up and prayer, and the beauty that rises with the sun reminding me of your promises.

Love, 

Your Admiring Daughter